No need to bare the weight of your worries here...

I am starting to worry because I haven't been sleeping good lately.  I think I've been stressing myself out about everything.  The other night, which was the night of my last post I got sick and threw up everywhere.  I think it was something I ate though because I didn't have a fever or anything.  It was a rough night needless to say!  I am hoping I'm not that sick tonight but I have a bucket beside me just in case.  My stomach does feel crampy but I think it's just nerves or stress.  I don't know.  I mean today was kind of a busy day.  I had my internship and then went to class and took a mid-term which I was definitely stressing over a little bit.  Then after that I went to my parent's house for dinner and had a St. Patrick's day dinner with the family.  It's always hard to wind down after dinner with them but it usually doesn't take m this long.  I've just had so much on my mind lately.  It's kinda crazy.  Maybe I'm just trying to adjust to the whole internship experience.  It kinda sucks because I'm not getting paid and I think that makes me feel more crappy.  I've been applying for every job I see but still not getting any responses.  It all just sucks.  But at least I have an A so far in the class I am in!  Thank goodness for that! And I am still so very grateful for my family because they always know how to make me smile even if they don't realize how stressed out I am.

I applied for this one job today that requires knowledge of bookkeeping and quickbooks.  I'm not familiar with quickbooks at all but I need to research it and figure out how to use it.  I kinda lied to the employer and told them that I've used it before.  It can't be that hard right??  Who knows!  I at least have a good reference for these people so I might have a good chance at getting this job.  Cross your fingers!

btw, Happy St. Patrick's day! I am a bit Irish, the red hair kinda gives it away <3

Well I don't know what else to say for now.  I am getting sleepy though so maybe I'll finally get some sleep. Good night world!

Things seem brighter on the other side..

Well they say bad things happen in 3's and they sure as hell do.  First I lose my job, then I wreck my car, and then my laptop crashes.  That is my excuse for not blogging since my last post.  I had to get my laptop fixed after it got some viruses on it so now I am back in action!  Oh AND I got my car back as well so life is good... now all I need is a freakin job.


The other night my mom and I rented that movie Up In The Air with George Clooney.  George plays a man that travels across the country who has to fire people from their jobs.  The movie is great because instead of actors they used real people who have been laid off.  I wish I could have been in the movie!  It was weird beceause I thought I'd cry the whole time watching the movie but I didn't.  I was able to suck it up because I think I've ran out of tears.  I've been applying for SO many jobs but I am not having any luck.  There's a new mall in Hampton now so I've even been applying for part-time jobs but you gotta imagine how many other people are applying for those jobs.  I just wish I could at least get an interview because I need more practice.  I also desperately need some money.  Not only for the bills and mortgage payments but for myself.  I need money for gas and other things.  This could seriously be the worst time of my life.  I hate asking my parents for money but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and half the time they offer anyway. Oh well.


The last couple of weeks I have been doing an internship at the Center for Child and Family Services in Hampton.  It's been pretty interesting so far.  I work mainly on the credit counseling side so I get to see situations that are a whole lot worse than mine.  At least I don't have children to worry about or a butt load of credit card debt.  I am constantly trying to be optimistic.  It's easier now that the weather has been warmer.  I love, love, love this time of year.  We set the clocks forward this weekend so that means longer days, warm weather, and summer is coming soooooon!


I don't know what else to do but continue to apply for jobs.  I'm doing the best I can, that's what I keep telling myself whether I believe it or not.


And today DMB played a song called Big Eyed Fish which they haven't played in aa couple of years.  It's such a beautiful song and they opened up a show in Europe with that and followed it with Bartender.  Now that is a way to open a show!!! I can't wait to see them again this summer, just wish I could afford it.

Life is short but sweet for certain...

Apparently I suck at blogging!  It's not like anyone reads these things anyway but I really wanted to force myself to keep up with this.  And it's also not like I don't have the time to do this.  Last time I posted I talked about my car accident.  I still get nervous on the highways now even when it's bright and sunny.  I think accidents do that to you, like once you get in one you'll never want to drive in the snow again... yeah... that's me.  My car still isn't fixed yet but I am hoping it will be done by the end of the month!  I miss it a lot.  My parent's jeep is so annoying, I am not a fan of the stick shift, whoever invented those cars must have been bored.  I like to just turn a car on and go!

School has been going okay.  I'm barely passing Physics.  But I've been doing a lot of extra credit so I should at least get a D.  That will bring my GPA down once again.  I'm so over it though, Physics shouldn't be this complicated but I make it that way.  Such is life.  The 2010 Winter Olympics have also been going since last Friday and I've actually really been enjoying them this year.  I wish I could be athletic but that may not ever happen.

I FINALLY had another job interview yesterday.  It was through the temp service that I was working with so it would be a long-term-temporary position.  It was in Ft. Eustis for a utility company and I'd basically be an office assistant.  Sometimes in interviews I get really nervous and start talking fast and not think before I talk.  I always regret something that I say by the time I'm done.  This interview went by really fast and all I had to do was just talk about my work experience and I mentioned that I'm back in school.  I kinda wish I had not said that I was laid off but it slipped out and maybe sounded like I didn't do much at my last job.  Hopefully they didn't look at that as a bad thing.  I am a hard worker and lord knows I need a job as soon as possible.  Hopefully I will find out on Monday if I get this position, I hate waiting, it's stressing me out.  I need a job, I need money, and I need to not be stressed anymore.

I really hope I can find a job before the weather gets warmer.  I hate sitting inside all day and even if my husband and I can go out and do something for an hour that would be great.  Everything these days seems to cost money, whether it's the clothes you wear, the gas in your car, or whatever you need for your home.  Being a DMB fan is expensive too, and I'm very sad I haven't been able to put in ticket requests for the summer tour.   Living life is nothing but a gamble. 

Don't burn the day away...

Well I didn't post yesterday because nothing exciting happened.  Not until later on in the afternoon. It snowed AGAIN!  And then late last night it felt like a Nor'Easter was blowing through... it was so windy and rainy.  I am a light sleeper so I barely got any sleep last night.  So this morning we wake up and it's still raining but around 11 or so it starts snowing AGAIN.  This time it sticks though so we have about 2 inches of snow on the ground.  It's not as bad as last weekend so hopefully it melts faster.  I just can't believe it.  I've lived in Virginia in this area my entire life and we've never had this much show in a week's worth of time.  It's just crazy.  I think I'd be more excited about it if I didn't wreck my car the either day.  I'm really losing my mind being cooped up in the house.  It really doesn't help my bad mood either.  My husband left to go watch the UFC fight at Buffalo Wild Wings so now I'm home by myself again.  There's nothing on TV and I'm not hungry because I feel like all I do is eat anymore... it's pretty sad.  I'm not gaining weight but I'm scared to get fat so I'm trying to eat healthier and not take advantage of the fact that I'm home all the time now.

My parents went to Carolina yesterday to get their extra Jeep for me so now I'll have a car but I certainly don't want to drive it in this mess.  I also don't have any money to spend so I don't need to go anywhere.  I'd really like to land a job soon... anything would be fantastic.  I really just want to cry right now or scream incredibly loud but I'm trying to keep it in.  I don't want to be a miserable person.  I don't want everyone to think I'm depressed.  I know this will all end soon and I'll be happy but seriously what else could possibly go wrong.  I need to continue to think positively and be optimistic so I'm promising myself to work on that.  Maybe I just need to listen to DMB a little more! Who the heck knows. 

She'll make the best of what's around...

Wow it has been so long since I have updated.  I was determined to make a blog everyday too.  But I've had too much on my mind lately to piece it all together.  Monday night, February 1, 2010 I got into my first car accident.  Since we had the snow storm last weekend I didn't drive anywhere.  I did have to go to class Monday night so I thought the roads would be okay by then.  I went out with my mom earlier that day and we were fine but I was still nervous about the black ice that might appear later on during that day and sure enough it did.  As soon as I got off the exit ramp to head home I was on the interstate gearing up to go a little faster when I hit some black ice, my car fish tailed, I lost control of it and hit a pole on the highway head on.  The whole front end of my jeep liberty was the molded into the pole.  Luckily I walked away without a scratch.  It all happened so fast that I don't think I hit my head or anything.  I mean I have felt fine the last few days so I'm sure I'll be okay.  But man it was the scariest thing ever!  I've had many surgeries throughout my life and I'm trying to figure out which is scarier going into surgery or getting into a car accident... either way your life flashes before your eyes and it's terrifying.  Luckily no other cars were involved so it was all good.  Two strangers pulled over to see if I was okay, so that was nice of them.  A couple of tow companies also stopped.  Then the cop came and the first thing he asks me is if I was on my cell phone! UGH! No, of course not! Then my husband showed up and then my parents.  It was a long process since AAA came and towed my car for us.  The cop ended up giving me a reckless driving ticket because he HAD to give me a ticket for something.  Seriously!?!? I didn't injure anyone, and I wasn't under the influence of alcohol or anything it amazes me that they still have to give you a ticket for something that wasn't my fault.  So now I have a court date in March which everyone thinks will work out.  I should get out of the ticket and will probably be on probation for a year.  But still that court date makes me nervous, so wish me luck!!!  I still don't have a car but my parents are going to the beach house to get their extra jeep so I'll be able to drive that until my car is fixed... so sad :( I'm thankful for my family who has driven me around the last few days though.  I can't stand being cooped up in the house all day - it's bad enough that I already don't have a job.

And to relate this post to DMB - I was thinking that since my plates weren't damaged (they say DMB on them) and I walked away without a scratch or bump that LeRoi Moore was looking over me that day.  LeRoi was the original saxophonist for DMB and died in August of 2008 due to complications from an ATV accident he got into.  It was VERY  hard for the DMB community to deal with.  I know I cried for a couple of days and it's still weird at shows that he's not standing up there on stage with the rest of the guys.  I remember back in 2001 when I met the band (that's another long story!) that LeRoi was really cool and down to earth.  I was really star struck when I met him.  It's so sad still that he's not there.  I think he was looking over me that night because I had a DMB cd in my stereo... I have all the stickers on my car and the license plates and the firedancer tattoo.  I mean all the signs are there.  So if he really was looking over me THANK YOU! I do have other gaurdian angels that are family members so hopefully one of them was watching me too.  It's always nice to think about those things because it makes you realize that things will be okay. 

Still no job yet... but I have a couple of potential opportunities.  I will explain later though once I know more about those.  I can't imagine what else could possibly go wrong in my life.  I lose my job, can't find a job, and wreck my car... someone please pray that something good will happen soon!!! I need all the help I can get!  Until then though, I'll make the best of what's around...

I love you oh so well, like a kid loves candy and fresh snow...

Ok so I suck... I forgot to post here yesterday.  That was because I was having too much fun playing in the SNOW!!! :) Yes, it did snow in VA all day yesterday and it's still on the ground today... the sun is out now but it was so beautiful watching it fall all day yesterday.  My hubby and I went out for a little while to my parent's house and then to my sister's house to play in the snow with my nieces.  We sort of built a snowman but the snow wouldn't stick together.  Then last night we went to my best friend's house to celebrate her birthday!  There was supposed to be a whole lot of people there but my hubby and I were the only ones that lived the closest and could handle driving in the snow.  So we hung out with her and her family.  It was nice though, she has a 1 year old daughter and it was fun to play with her. 

Today we probably won't go out too much in the snow... I do need to make a run to Target and we will probably go watch the 2010 Grammy awards at my parent's house.  DMB are nominated for Best Rock Group of the year and Album of the Year... I doubt they will win but they are performing so I am excited to see that!  I will update you later on tonight with the results... cross your fingers for DMB though!!! :)

Here's the snowman we tried to make yesterday :)

Stay beautiful baby, I hope you stayyy American babyyy...

Well my husband and I finally saw the move The Blindside tonight.  It was such a great movie!!!  It was very inspirational and really makes you remind yourself to appreciate the finer things in life.  I remind myself everyday that our life could be worse.  I am very thankful for my family and that my husband is here for me.  We may not have a whole lot of money right now but we have each other and a lot of people around us that are here for us.  It helps.  Sometimes it's easy to forget about those awesome things and those times are when I get emotional.  I can be pretty emotional when I think about certain things.  I mean I teared up while watching that movie because it was so nice of that family to take in someone that they didn't know and someone that was a lot different from them.  I hope that someday I can help others in more ways than one.  I hope someday I can be successful enough to share my wealth to those in need.  I suppose I am working on that goal now by going to school and getting my education so that I can at least begin by sharing my knowledge.  You gotta start somewhere right? 

My new career services friend lady called me today and said that she might have found a position for me!  It's not all that exciting but for right now I need to make money somehow.  It would be an administrative assistant position at a doctor's office.  I don't know how much I would get paid but every little bit helps.  I am going to apply for this position next week though just to see what happens, so wish me luck! 

I am keeping it short tonight, we are supposed to get snow late tonight and tomorrow so cross your fingers!  I will post pictures if it happens!